cant get a passport!!!

AshKahn · 07-29-2010, 07:58 PM

I am in desperate need of some help! My DH re-classed while in AFG this year. His assignment came up two days ago for Germany next April. I cannot get a passport due to a child support order (long story) that is in arrears to high. I cannot pay the balance off in time, and also it may still be held after it is paid down for "good faith" pmts for however long the county feels is necessary. So me going is not an option.

I have spoken to the travel office who informed me of the accompanied, nonaccompanied, and all others tour information.

I was told that he needs to contact his branch manager to attempt to get a conus duty station. He can also attempt a compassionate orders action. But no one can even tell us for sure if we qualify. He will be making some calls to branch tomorrow.

Here is the kicker too. If he does not loose 8% body fat in 3 weeks and pass his PT test, he will forfeit his contract. Which means he will stay in the cav unit that he absolutely does not consider an option. Is that kind of weight loss even possible in that amount of time? i think it is ridiculously out of the question. But this I cannot discuss with him due to anger issues (he is in counseling) from a really horrible tragedy during deployment.

I dont know what to do!! That is so long apart, living two seperate lives. I dont see how anyone is supposed to stay connected! And since deployment we have started marriage counseling for some issues.

He just got home a few months ago. Without putting exact info, between his redeployment and his report date, including his AIT he will only have been with us for six months. He does not know how long his tour will be.

If he does have to go without us...what pay will we get while he is there? Will he be able to take leave periodically to come here to see us?

I feel like him still proceeding with this job after this info was presented to him is him abandoning us. Is that wrong of me? or is this part of the army life and i need to deal with it and try to find an ounce of strength to start to piece together what our lives will be like the next 3 years.

He has been in for 3 years in oct. We have two children ages 7 and 1, and i have a 10 yr old back home. I am on the FRG and recently received a volunteer award (i say this to show i am somewhat experienced army wife). I pride myself in knowledge and understanding of the army wife life. but this i cannot comprehend.

I have a lot of questions embedded in this email, and I apologize if it is scattered. I just cannot process and rationalize any of this. So please ask me any info to clarify.

*i also ask for forgiveness with my horrible grammar and punctuation and spelling, i am out of my mind at the moment*

1812Wife · 07-29-2010, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AshKahn

I am in desperate need of some help! My DH re-classed while in AFG this year. His assignment came up two days ago for Germany next April. I cannot get a passport due to a child support order (long story) that is in arrears to high. I cannot pay the balance off in time, and also it may still be held after it is paid down for "good faith" pmts for however long the county feels is necessary. So me going is not an option.

I have spoken to the travel office who informed me of the accompanied, nonaccompanied, and all others tour information.

I was told that he needs to contact his branch manager to attempt to get a conus duty station. He can also attempt a compassionate orders action. But no one can even tell us for sure if we qualify. He will be making some calls to branch tomorrow.

Here is the kicker too. If he does not loose 8% body fat in 3 weeks and pass his PT test, he will forfeit his contract. Which means he will stay in the cav unit that he absolutely does not consider an option. Is that kind of weight loss even possible in that amount of time? i think it is ridiculously out of the question. But this I cannot discuss with him due to anger issues (he is in counseling) from a really horrible tragedy during deployment.

**It is possible however he will not keep it off. A great way to be able to tape in is to work out and then sit in a sanua and maybe even do a body wrap that gets rid of the water weight and whatnot. - as far as the PFT he needs to get in the gym and start working himself up to running one every day until he knows that he can pass it**

I dont know what to do!! That is so long apart, living two seperate lives. I dont see how anyone is supposed to stay connected! And since deployment we have started marriage counseling for some issues.

He just got home a few months ago. Without putting exact info, between his redeployment and his report date, including his AIT he will only have been with us for six months. He does not know how long his tour will be.

If he does have to go without us...what pay will we get while he is there? Will he be able to take leave periodically to come here to see us?

I feel like him still proceeding with this job after this info was presented to him is him abandoning us. Is that wrong of me? or is this part of the army life and i need to deal with it and try to find an ounce of strength to start to piece together what our lives will be like the next 3 years.

**If he has to go he has to go being resentful towards him is only going to make it hard on everybody involved. When serving in the military they are often gone well more then home and it is something you either have to learn to live with and learn how to function while they are gone or you constantly be stressed to the max and making that much harder on yourself**

He has been in for 3 years in oct. We have two children ages 7 and 1, and i have a 10 yr old back home. I am on the FRG and recently received a volunteer award (i say this to show i am somewhat experienced army wife). I pride myself in knowledge and understanding of the army wife life. but this i cannot comprehend.

I have a lot of questions embedded in this email, and I apologize if it is scattered. I just cannot process and rationalize any of this. So please ask me any info to clarify.

*i also ask for forgiveness with my horrible grammar and punctuation and spelling, i am out of my mind at the moment*

I hope he is able to get things straightened out so that he does not have to go and be away from your family anymore. Big

's! Try and take a deep breath and relax some!

sunofabeach85 · 07-29-2010, 09:13 PM

I do know if he does got without you and it's unaccompanied you will still get BAH for your location and he will get OHA still (if he lives off base in Germany) and cola for himself while he's there.

MrsFlyboy · 07-30-2010, 12:10 AM

You can't get a passport because of outstanding debt? Really? I've never heard of this.

AshKahn · 07-30-2010, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsFlyboy

You can't get a passport because of outstanding debt? Really? I've never heard of this.

california denies u a passport if your balance is over 2500

**pilesoflaundry** · 07-30-2010, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsFlyboy

You can't get a passport because of outstanding debt? Really? I've never heard of this.

It makes sense to me. In some states they take your drivers license, right to register a vehicle, I'm not surprised a state doesn't want you leaving the country if you owe.

He's not abandoning you, this is part of the job. You know you owe child support, he knows the body fat standards and this part of the job. Is it fair, doesn't seem like it but rules are rules and it's how it goes.

girlvet · 07-30-2010, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilesoflaundry

It makes sense to me. In some states they take your drivers license, right to register a vehicle, I'm not surprised a state doesn't want you leaving the country if you owe.

He's not abandoning you, this is part of the job. You know you owe child support, he knows the body fat standards and this part of the job. Is it fair, doesn't seem like it but rules are rules and it's how it goes.

Well said.

IluvMySailor716 · 07-30-2010, 10:50 AM

wait so YOU owe back child support? i wonder if there is a way to show that you would be getting more money and would be able to easier pay the debt if you were overseas? i have never heard of being denied a passport because of debt, then again, the only "debt" i had when i got my passport in cali was a car payment

i would say that you should talk to the county and see what they say about you trying for a passport to go overseas with your military husband, have your husband try for different orders, and prepare yourself in case it doesn't happen and you are forced to stay behind while he is forced to continue with the orders. as for feeling like he is abandoning you by continuing with the orders, hunni, you have to understand that the military rarely makes accommodations around a service member unless it is a life or death situation... normally if a decision such as orders has already been made, you just have to go with it and work around it unless the military finds it in THEIR best interest to find him another set of orders. sure it sucks and sure it is inconvenient for our personal lives, but it happens. a lot of service members go geo bach. and leave their spouse and family behind. you guys would not be the first nor the last to do it. it is not HIM abandoning you. it's not like he has much of a choice if they won't change his orders, so to hold it against HIM is unfair. if he doesn't report for his orders, he could end up in military prison and the rest of his life ruined once he is out... that to me would be far worse than three years living separately. in the event that he HAS to go on those orders at least you have the options of him coming home on leave. on the topic of his weight loss, someone already mentioned the stuff i was going to recommend. he could crash diet and do the sauna and wrap to reduce water weight for a temporary fix and then he could work on getting on a regular exercise regime and eating right to get to a healthy weight and keep it off.

MrsFlyboy · 07-30-2010, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AshKahn

california denies u a passport if your balance is over 2500

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilesoflaundry

It makes sense to me. In some states they take your drivers license, right to register a vehicle, I'm not surprised a state doesn't want you leaving the country if you owe.

I did a quick Google search and found this. It's actually a federally-mandated program:

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/...p/passport.htm and http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/.../at-10-04a.pdf

I had no idea this type of thing existed. Quite possibly more effective than the threat of jail for not paying child support.

dlearyous · 07-31-2010, 05:53 AM

If it's any consolation an unaccompanied tour to Germany is 2 years, not 3. It's up to his command, but he should be able to take leave to come back and visit from there. He'll have to pay for it, or try taking a MAC flight.

He should have know about the body fat & PT issue for awhile if his unit was taking regular PT tests. It's an Army standard, not just for reclassing.

I hope whatever you both decide is best happens for you. You never know what the future holds in the Army. It just might turn out in your favor!

Sunkist · 08-02-2010, 07:48 AM

I would suggest paying back your child support, or at least setting up some kind of payment arrangement with the courts where you can be back in good standing. It seems like the issue comes back to the fact that you owe money. I think you should pay it. That would probably lessen your troubles greatly.

dlearyous · 08-02-2010, 09:02 AM

That's a good idea. Would they allow you to set up an allotment using your husband's military pay or even with his permission to have his wages garnished? Just make sure you are asking the right questions of the right people. If you get a hem-hawed no then you know you aren't asking the right person!

devilwhiterose · 08-02-2010, 10:22 AM

...if you paid your child support......

phrogger · 08-02-2010, 10:55 AM

You can't be angry with him when you didn't pay your bills, and childsupport at that. I am sorry and this might sound mean, but people would be reaming a man for not paying his support, and the same should go for a woman, take care of your kids, do what you are supposed to do to support them and then worry about everything else.

devilwhiterose · 08-02-2010, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phrogger

You can't be angry with him when you didn't pay your bills, and childsupport at that. I am sorry and this might sound mean, but people would be reaming a man for not paying his support, and the same should go for a woman, take care of your kids, do what you are supposed to do to support them and then worry about everything else.

Agreed. I'm bitter because my mother never paid up.

phrogger · 08-02-2010, 11:18 AM

nm

**GiggleKitten** · 08-02-2010, 11:25 AM

Lets bring this back on topic, please.

Is he abandoning you? - No he signed the contract and has to go. Yes he can try for a CONUS station and if he gets it great, if not you can't blame him for living up to his obligation. You also can't blame him for a financial issue that you brought into the marriage.

I understand good faith payments won't work but what about garnishing his paycheck via an allotment? Can you go to court and present that as an option? Maybe that way you would be able to get your passport released.

Lastly trying to dump weight last minute isn't healthy. He could do the sauna like someone mentioned and really watch what he eats. Unfortunately he should have been aware of the Army Stds at the time and made an attempt to meet and maintain them.

You've got some things that you two need to work out together, hopefully you two can take a few days and talk though it. I'm a firm believer in good communication.

evearael · 08-02-2010, 11:26 AM

If you haven't paid your child support due to some sort of valid emergency, the Relief Agency may be able to help you. If you haven't paid for lesser reasons, I don't see any financial assistance available.

He may be able to lose weight in time and pass the PT test... but he really needs to make a dedicated effort for it.

The military can sometimes demand considerable time apart. That's why the benefits are so generous (even if the pay isn't). He is not abandoning you for following the terms of his contract. He has a lot less control over what happens with him than in the civilian sector.

If you are having trouble coping with so much on your plate, I strongly suggest you talk through it with a counselor or chaplain. Talking with a neutral and supportive person can help you straighten everything out and regain your strength to deal with everything.

Good luck!

Poochie · 08-02-2010, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GiggleKitten

Is he abandoning you? - No he signed the contract and has to go. Yes he can try for a CONUS station and if he gets it great, if not you can't blame him for living up to his obligation.

Just to make sure you understand, he doesn't get to pick and choose what he gets. So if he goes, you shouldn't resent him. That's the military life. They don't care one bit what the spouses want, or whats best for the relationship. Mission first. He can't just "not go".

I hope you are able to work it out, but if not and you want things to work out, blaming and resenting him is not going to help at all.

and good luck to you.

blooskadoo · 08-02-2010, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlearyous

That's a good idea. Would they allow you to set up an allotment using your husband's military pay or even with his permission to have his wages garnished? Just make sure you are asking the right questions of the right people. If you get a hem-hawed no then you know you aren't asking the right person!

Why should HIS wages be garnished because she is a deadbeat mom? OP I don't feel sorry for you. I can not believe you would behave as if your spouse is abandoning you by fulfilling his obligation to the military when the two of you are in this predicament because YOU have not fulfilled YOUR obligation to your child.

Contact the court system where your child lives and figure out how to set up a payment plan and then stick to that plan.

07-29-2010, 07:58 PM	#1
AshKahn Junior Member Newbie Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Fort Carson, Co Posts: 2 My Mood:	cant get a passport!!! I am in desperate need of some help! My DH re-classed while in AFG this year. His assignment came up two days ago for Germany next April. I cannot get a passport due to a child support order (long story) that is in arrears to high. I cannot pay the balance off in time, and also it may still be held after it is paid down for "good faith" pmts for however long the county feels is necessary. So me going is not an option. I have spoken to the travel office who informed me of the accompanied, nonaccompanied, and all others tour information. I was told that he needs to contact his branch manager to attempt to get a conus duty station. He can also attempt a compassionate orders action. But no one can even tell us for sure if we qualify. He will be making some calls to branch tomorrow. Here is the kicker too. If he does not loose 8% body fat in 3 weeks and pass his PT test, he will forfeit his contract. Which means he will stay in the cav unit that he absolutely does not consider an option. Is that kind of weight loss even possible in that amount of time? i think it is ridiculously out of the question. But this I cannot discuss with him due to anger issues (he is in counseling) from a really horrible tragedy during deployment. I dont know what to do!! That is so long apart, living two seperate lives. I dont see how anyone is supposed to stay connected! And since deployment we have started marriage counseling for some issues. He just got home a few months ago. Without putting exact info, between his redeployment and his report date, including his AIT he will only have been with us for six months. He does not know how long his tour will be. If he does have to go without us...what pay will we get while he is there? Will he be able to take leave periodically to come here to see us? I feel like him still proceeding with this job after this info was presented to him is him abandoning us. Is that wrong of me? or is this part of the army life and i need to deal with it and try to find an ounce of strength to start to piece together what our lives will be like the next 3 years. He has been in for 3 years in oct. We have two children ages 7 and 1, and i have a 10 yr old back home. I am on the FRG and recently received a volunteer award (i say this to show i am somewhat experienced army wife). I pride myself in knowledge and understanding of the army wife life. but this i cannot comprehend. I have a lot of questions embedded in this email, and I apologize if it is scattered. I just cannot process and rationalize any of this. So please ask me any info to clarify. i also ask for forgiveness with my horrible grammar and punctuation and spelling, i am out of my mind at the moment

07-29-2010, 09:13 PM	#3
sunofabeach85 My lil man <3 I'm a posting machine! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Yokota AB, Japan.. Jersey girl at heart Posts: 1,110 My Mood:	Re: cant get a passport!!! I do know if he does got without you and it's unaccompanied you will still get BAH for your location and he will get OHA still (if he lives off base in Germany) and cola for himself while he's there. __________________

07-30-2010, 12:10 AM	#4
MrsFlyboy Waiting.... You can't touch this! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Aviano AB, Italy Posts: 16,119 My Mood:	Re: cant get a passport!!! You can't get a passport because of outstanding debt? Really? I've never heard of this. __________________

07-30-2010, 10:50 AM	#8
IluvMySailor716 <3 daddy hand n baby hand You can't touch this! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Va Beach, VA formerly of Yokosuka, JP Posts: 31,618 My Mood:	Re: cant get a passport!!! wait so YOU owe back child support? i wonder if there is a way to show that you would be getting more money and would be able to easier pay the debt if you were overseas? i have never heard of being denied a passport because of debt, then again, the only "debt" i had when i got my passport in cali was a car payment i would say that you should talk to the county and see what they say about you trying for a passport to go overseas with your military husband, have your husband try for different orders, and prepare yourself in case it doesn't happen and you are forced to stay behind while he is forced to continue with the orders. as for feeling like he is abandoning you by continuing with the orders, hunni, you have to understand that the military rarely makes accommodations around a service member unless it is a life or death situation... normally if a decision such as orders has already been made, you just have to go with it and work around it unless the military finds it in THEIR best interest to find him another set of orders. sure it sucks and sure it is inconvenient for our personal lives, but it happens. a lot of service members go geo bach. and leave their spouse and family behind. you guys would not be the first nor the last to do it. it is not HIM abandoning you. it's not like he has much of a choice if they won't change his orders, so to hold it against HIM is unfair. if he doesn't report for his orders, he could end up in military prison and the rest of his life ruined once he is out... that to me would be far worse than three years living separately. in the event that he HAS to go on those orders at least you have the options of him coming home on leave. on the topic of his weight loss, someone already mentioned the stuff i was going to recommend. he could crash diet and do the sauna and wrap to reduce water weight for a temporary fix and then he could work on getting on a regular exercise regime and eating right to get to a healthy weight and keep it off. __________________ Sako "I never fail... I succeed at finding what doesn't work" "Fear nothing... except the news, cuz they lie to you every nite"

07-31-2010, 05:53 AM	#10
dlearyous livin, laughin, lovin Getting warmer Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ft. Leonard Wood, MO Posts: 218	Re: cant get a passport!!! If it's any consolation an unaccompanied tour to Germany is 2 years, not 3. It's up to his command, but he should be able to take leave to come back and visit from there. He'll have to pay for it, or try taking a MAC flight. He should have know about the body fat & PT issue for awhile if his unit was taking regular PT tests. It's an Army standard, not just for reclassing. I hope whatever you both decide is best happens for you. You never know what the future holds in the Army. It just might turn out in your favor! __________________

08-02-2010, 07:48 AM	#11
Sunkist Member just warming up Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 34	Re: cant get a passport!!! I would suggest paying back your child support, or at least setting up some kind of payment arrangement with the courts where you can be back in good standing. It seems like the issue comes back to the fact that you owe money. I think you should pay it. That would probably lessen your troubles greatly. __________________

08-02-2010, 09:02 AM	#12
dlearyous livin, laughin, lovin Getting warmer Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ft. Leonard Wood, MO Posts: 218	Re: cant get a passport!!! That's a good idea. Would they allow you to set up an allotment using your husband's military pay or even with his permission to have his wages garnished? Just make sure you are asking the right questions of the right people. If you get a hem-hawed no then you know you aren't asking the right person! __________________

08-02-2010, 10:22 AM	#13
devilwhiterose Hooked on the sauce Getting warmer Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Garner, NC Posts: 465 My Mood:	Re: cant get a passport!!! ...if you paid your child support...... __________________

08-02-2010, 10:55 AM	#14
phrogger Senior Member Wow, look at me go! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Lemoore, CA Posts: 2,011	Re: cant get a passport!!! You can't be angry with him when you didn't pay your bills, and childsupport at that. I am sorry and this might sound mean, but people would be reaming a man for not paying his support, and the same should go for a woman, take care of your kids, do what you are supposed to do to support them and then worry about everything else. __________________ Erin, mom to 4 boys, 13y, 10y, 10y, 1y

08-02-2010, 11:18 AM	#16
phrogger Senior Member Wow, look at me go! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Lemoore, CA Posts: 2,011	Re: cant get a passport!!! nm __________________ Erin, mom to 4 boys, 13y, 10y, 10y, 1y Last edited by phrogger; 08-02-2010 at 11:37 AM.

08-02-2010, 11:25 AM	#17
GiggleKitten Turkey, April 2006 Super Mod Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Campbell KY Posts: 27,242	Re: cant get a passport!!! Lets bring this back on topic, please. Is he abandoning you? - No he signed the contract and has to go. Yes he can try for a CONUS station and if he gets it great, if not you can't blame him for living up to his obligation. You also can't blame him for a financial issue that you brought into the marriage. I understand good faith payments won't work but what about garnishing his paycheck via an allotment? Can you go to court and present that as an option? Maybe that way you would be able to get your passport released. Lastly trying to dump weight last minute isn't healthy. He could do the sauna like someone mentioned and really watch what he eats. Unfortunately he should have been aware of the Army Stds at the time and made an attempt to meet and maintain them. You've got some things that you two need to work out together, hopefully you two can take a few days and talk though it. I'm a firm believer in good communication. __________________ Gigglekitten AKA - Mo Oz is here! The mind is everything. What you think you become. ~Buddha~

08-02-2010, 11:26 AM	#18
evearael Senior Member Wow, look at me go! Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 3,862 My Mood:	Re: cant get a passport!!! If you haven't paid your child support due to some sort of valid emergency, the Relief Agency may be able to help you. If you haven't paid for lesser reasons, I don't see any financial assistance available. He may be able to lose weight in time and pass the PT test... but he really needs to make a dedicated effort for it. The military can sometimes demand considerable time apart. That's why the benefits are so generous (even if the pay isn't). He is not abandoning you for following the terms of his contract. He has a lot less control over what happens with him than in the civilian sector. If you are having trouble coping with so much on your plate, I strongly suggest you talk through it with a counselor or chaplain. Talking with a neutral and supportive person can help you straighten everything out and regain your strength to deal with everything. Good luck!